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About Varied / Student Member Reilley WoodFemale/United States Recent Activity
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I just found out my little baby, my dearest dog, has died. It hurts so much, one day she is just dandy the next thing I know is that my sister and her husband posted that she had died. Saffy was my baby and now I can't see that stupid puppy dog face she only ever gave me. No more random cuddles at night during storms, or falling asleep on her because of a book.
She was a pit, the most cuddly and mothering dog I ever had. I'm only ever going to see that dumb face in photos now. I feel like I've been fucking shot and everyone fucking excepts me to be fine. That was my baby girl, and no one told me she was sick or dying. No one fucking called to tell me anything. 
  • Mood: Agony
  • Listening to: when I'm gone
I have given up on somethings, like my dyslexia disappearing or not being hard of hearing. I kind of don't care anymore even though it really screws up my life it took me ten years to stop caring about not living up to stupid standards my dad and schools set up for me. I am an artist not a droid nor am i going to work for someone who just wants a mindless worker. I love my drawings and my writings even if some people disapprove of something I wanted to do.
So I stopped caring about being unable to read equations, and the inability to hear the mumbling of half of my teachers. I already realize that at no point in my life will I be able to hear on my right or see clearly on my left. I accept that it may make people think ill of me, for being carefree yet really nervous about things. I won't be able to drive without risking others nor will I able to work in noisy places.
I am content with the idea that I won't make the grade of high school standard. I care not that I have to retake certain things, all I care about is my art, my writings, and my baking. Not because they are what I am good at but because they make me feel more cheerful than anything.
I feel like drawing but unfortunately I'm moving again so that I'm closer to my school. This really sucks but I guess I'll just draw a bunch of stuff on paper and wait until I can go into my new house which right now is filled with everything that I'm allergic to.
-flips table and walks off-
Swoon by Agent42Kisa
Swoon
I started drawing this before I went to the homecoming. I was almost finished, but we had to get there. Its almost exactly like what happened at the dance. When I'm nervous or under to much stress my left arm trembles and I try to hide it by holding my jacket or holding my phone. 
I was extremely nervous at the dance because of the crowds, I am an introvert so its extremely stressful and nerve wrecking. 
But when I caught a glance of the guy I like I just went over and called out to him. We sort of talked, really sort of I was way to stressed by the noise and people crashing into me and getting to close. I started to tell him what I had to but my stress levels were elevating so I told him that crowds made me uncomfortable and offered him my number. 
He whipped out his phone then after a while of glancing from me to his phone and back again. He asked me to message him on social media.
I said I would and he left to go home.
I got home a little later to finish this and I was so overjoyed I wasn't even aware of what I had been drawing till this morning. I'm still happy as a child in a free candy shop.
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I went to the homecoming game for Klein High Friday night.
The guy is in the marching band, everything was odd though.
Klein lost to Collins by 25 to 41, as my brother predicted.
We moved closer the band when there was 4:29 on the clock for game time, Fourth Quarter.
The band went back down to give a show after we lost.
It was a Beethoven classic, marvelous to my ears and charmed my heart like classics always do.
Just as the sound ended they played the school fight song.
By the end they crowded to leave, my friend called out to him as I struggled to say anything.
I was fighting my fear and muttering Mm... for awhile before I final shouted his name.
I caught a glance of his head turn and I slammed my hands over my mouth in disbelief.
I had called out to him and my friends that were in the band smiled knowingly at me.
I couldn't believe I did it, I final called out to him without panic.
A shriek of his name still whirled in my head as I tried to calm myself.
I felt joy over terror and glee over my nervousness.
I trembled because I was so proud of myself, I did something on my own without being an ass.
I did it by myself without thinking I need help, I just thought I have to do this and I did.
The first time I have ever listened to myself since the first day of falling for him.

At the homecoming dance, Saturday night, it took awhile but when I saw him I felt all my nerves energy just leave.
I went up to him and spoke to him with the same thoughts I did when we were friends.
I couldn't get all the words out but he told to send him a message on social media.
I felt happy that I wasn't nervous because of him, mostly nervous about the crowds.
I maybe an introvert and parties really make me uncomfortable but at that moment I didn't care.
I just wanted to talk to him like I used to.
I did, sort of, but I'm proud of myself I forgot I was scared.
He made me happy by hearing me out, he has always made me happy when ever we spoke.
I'm still overjoyed, I had almost forgotten how easy it is to talk to him.
I'm proud of myself, even the crowds didn't scare me from talking.
I just found out my little baby, my dearest dog, has died. It hurts so much, one day she is just dandy the next thing I know is that my sister and her husband posted that she had died. Saffy was my baby and now I can't see that stupid puppy dog face she only ever gave me. No more random cuddles at night during storms, or falling asleep on her because of a book.
She was a pit, the most cuddly and mothering dog I ever had. I'm only ever going to see that dumb face in photos now. I feel like I've been fucking shot and everyone fucking excepts me to be fine. That was my baby girl, and no one told me she was sick or dying. No one fucking called to tell me anything. 
  • Mood: Agony
  • Listening to: when I'm gone

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Agent42Kisa's Profile Picture
Agent42Kisa
Reilley Wood
Artist | Student | Varied
United States
red hair, hazel green eyes.
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